一吻定江山 Never Been Kissed review by James Berardinelli

Most of us have a hard enough time surviving high school once. What if we were given the opportunity to do it all over again? How would we react to the second chance? Would we repeat the same mistakes, hang out with the same kind of people, and take the same classes? Or would we try something completely different? For 99.99% of us, the idea of again enduring pep rallies, proms, and graduation is the stuff of dreams (or nightmares). But, for Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore), it's reality - and, considering how traumatic her first trip through high school was, it's not a pleasant reality.

Movies like to send adult characters back to school. It makes for an appealing "fish out of water" scenario. One typical plot device establishes the protagonist as an undercover cop who pretends to be a student to reveal criminal activity. In a variant, he/she is a reporter instead of a police officer. That's the approach utilized by Never Been Kissed. Timid Josie Geller is the best and youngest copy editor at the Chicago Sun-Times, but she yearns to be a reporter, and, when the head of the paper (a miscast Garry Marshall) decides that he wants someone undercover in a local high school, Josie gets the job. So, it's back to hitting the books, but, at age 25, Josie learns that she doesn't fit in any better now than she did when she actually was in high school. It doesn't help that her wardrobe is as outdated as her taste in music. Eventually, she makes friends with Aldys (Leelee Sobieski), a girl who's as weird as she is, and earns the respect of her English teacher, Sam Coulson (Michael Vartan). However, those two modest successes fall far short of the goal set by her editor (John C. Reilly) - she's supposed to become part of the "in" crowd. Enter her helpful brother, Rob (David Arquette), who follows her lead and also goes back to the hallowed halls of teen angst. Once there, he tricks everyone into believing that Josie is hot and happening, and, suddenly, she's dating the coolest guy in school (Jeremy Jordan) and is in the running for prom queen.

Saying bad things about Never Been Kissed, an unapologetic crowd-pleaser, makes me feel like the Grinch stealing Christmas, but there are some things that can't be ignored. Yes, Drew Barrymore is appealingly sweet, and, yes, the storyline offers romantic hope for lovelorn geeks worldwide, but the movie is seriously flawed. Director Raja Gosnell (Home Alone 3) and screenwriters Abby Kohn & Marc Silverstein seem to think that, as long as they offer a big, feel-good ending, viewers will forgive the litany of irritants that precede it. And, while that approach may work on those with short attention spans, it made me actively mad at everyone involved in the behind-the-scenes creative process.

Never Been Kissed is peppered with what I call "embarrassing moments": scenes designed to elicit cheap laughter by placing the lead character in a series of humiliating circumstances. Viewers, sympathizing with the film makers' victim, don't know whether to laugh or cover their eyes. On the one hand, for this device to work, it means that there has to be a connection between the character and the audience. On the other hand, it's a dangerous technique, because, when it fails (which happens more often than not), it damages the character's credibility and removes the possibility that any aspect of the movie can be taken seriously. Even John Cleese and the Farrelly Brothers, two of the best in this area, aren't always successful. Never Been Kissed's frequent forays in the realm of embarrassing moments turn Josie and her friends into caricatures.

The most enjoyable aspect of Never Been Kissed is the romance that develops between Josie and Sam. When he thinks he's her teacher, it's nicely understated - glances, body language, and cute snippets of dialogue. In three recent outings (The Wedding Singer, Ever After, and Home Fries), Barrymore has shown an undeniable aptitude for romantic roles. She has the look and the rhythm. Michael Vartan has enough charisma to hold up his end of the pairing. On the supporting front, Leelee Sobieski (A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries) is appealing in the undemanding role of Aldys, but the always-smirking David Arquette is less than endearing.

Distilled to its basic essence, Never Been Kissed is yet another in a long line of teen movies that centers on the emergence of the geek. The best films in this genre evoke a sense of the real pain and angst that occurs during adolescence. And, while there are attempts to do that here, the need to overplay everything for comic effect undermines the goal. Hence, the Josie we see during flashbacks to her real high school years isn't just a nerd; she's a cartoonish nerd, and the humiliation she endures is so extreme that it's difficult to believe even the most socially inept teenager could relate to it. Only Carrie had a worse prom.

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